Truth

In His words are truth.


How could you have doubted that?


I didnt. Not really. But I never really expected them to apply to me. To know and accept in the global sense is one thing, but to have such personal response is something else again.


But it still is not easy.


No. To lay the burden at the foot is one thing. To leave it there is another. I carried this willingly for so long the weight is part of me. Though there is relief and gladness in the lightness, there is also a patch that is gone. Not empty, for that would imply longing to have it back, but I am aware of the absence. And in that there is the wonder if I am just kidding myself.


You can trust the word.


That I know. But just how much can I trust myself? How many times have I lain this burden aside, thrown it down, hurled abuse at it? To what end? To not really relieve myself, to keep it to me.


What you have done this time, you have not done before.


But will it be enough? In the word, promise to me, certainly, of that there is no doubt. Especially you, dear angel, created as you and all were by the word, know the truth and power of that. I have called and been heard, told to lay my burden down. I have seen and felt answer in events that have occured this past week. But when and how will I know that salvation is mine? How many times will I have to give this over? He must have despaired of me but I feel the love. Or why else would there have been solution which meant that I could lay my burden down? How can I be worthy?


His patience, like Him, is eternal. Trust.


And pray that there will come a time where I no longer need to keep laying this at His feet. Thank God for the Cross.


Amen to that.

Compare and contrast

To reach out and touch someone and have that touch at best ignored, at worst rebuffed. To know you will not recieve touch.

To reach out to another and know that they will not reach out to you. To hear their words and know that they have no interest in hearing yours.

To know their place in your heart but doubt that there is any room in theirs for you. To care so deeply that you feel their pain but know they do not heed yours. To love and wonder if they even care to friendship stage, let alone anything more.

To want so deeply the pain is a physical thing and know that it is your lot to suffer alone if not in silence. For it does not belong to you and you have not the slightest claim on any aspect.

This is mine. And why I am here.

Son of Adam, you do not belong here.

Saying bye

Lucifer, I said goodbye.
The son of Adam has beaten me with a very simple philosophy and I do not know how to recover from that. So what alternative?


What alternative indeed.

Inevitability

Lucifer, I am scared.

We have been waiting for this time.

I know. But how do I know it will last? It feels the most right it has ever been, but can I trust in that? I desperately want to, but can I?

I will be by your side. To remind you and give you love.

Then I will take hold of that. Yet I do find it strange that apathy is the cause, even though I welcome the release and pray that it is real. Here is my hand.

Then let us go home.

From Mel C

Ooh, yeah Never be the same again

I call you up whenever things go wrong
You're always thereYou are my shoulder to cry on
I cant believe it took me quite so long
To take the forbidden stepIs this something that I might regret?

(Come on, on)Nothing ventured nothing gained
(You are the one)A lonely heart that cant be tamed(Come on, come on)
I'm hoping that you feel the same
This is something that I cant forget
I thought that we would just be friends
Things will never be the same again
Its just the beginning its not the end
Things will never be the same again
Its not a secret anymore
Now we've opened up the door
Starting tonight and from now on
We'll never, never be the same again
Never be the same again

Now I know that we were close before
I'm glad I realised I need you so much more
And I dont care what everyone will say
Its about you and me
And we'll never be the same again

I thought that we would just be friends (oh yeah)Things will never be the same again (Never be the same again)Its just the beginning its not the end (Weve only just begun)Things will never be the same again Its not a secret anymore Now weve opened up the door (Opened up the door)Starting tonight and from now onWe'll never, never be the same againNever be the same again

Nite and dayBlack beach sand to red clayThe US to UKNYC to LA From sidewalks to highways See itll never be the same
What Im sayin My mind frame never changed til you came rearranged But sometimes it seems completely forbidden To discover those feelings that we kept so well hidden Where theres no competition And you render my conditionThough improbable its not impossible For a love that could be unstoppable
But wait. A fine lines between fate and destiny Do you believe in the things that were just meant to be?When you tell me the stories of your quest for me Picturesque is the picture you paint effortlesslyAnd as our energies mix and begin to multiply Everyday situations, they start to simplify So things will never be the same between you and I We intertwined our life forces and now were unified

I thought that we would just be friendsThings will never be the same againIts just the beginning its not the endThings will never be the same againIts not a secret anymoreNow weve opened up the doorStarting tonight and from now onWell never, never be the same again (Come on, come on)Things will never be the same again (You are the one)Never be the same again Its not a secret any moreWell never be the same again Its not a secret any moreWell never be the same againNever be the same againNever be the same againNever be the same againNever be the same again

Knowing

Lucifer, sweet angel, tell me what happened?

What you asked for. You wanted to know and though no words were spoken, how much more do you want? Even you have to admit that your place cannot be disputed. Avoidance and rejection on Wednesday, stress and cancellation for Friday and yesterday the anouncement of the most important decision of his life was left to a third party to make, well after others were informed. Even the secrets you were asked to keep were not unique. You are just one among many, and a not very special one at that. And you have no one to blame but yourself.


Funny though. It hurts. But not as much as I would have thought. I guess because I was expecting this. Not wanting, to be sure, but it all comes as a sad inevitability.